endlessdel | Let It Go

Entry tags:

Let It Go

Delirium had almost believed them when they told her it would get better, when they told her that it was just part of being human- but everyday it got worse, everyday she forgot a little bit more. When she looked at her doggies she struggled to remember their names or where she was until she remembered and when she remembered it felt worse, like she had been hurt all over again.

She felt too tired to get up. She didn’t want to eat or drink and when they saw her they made her eat or drink and then they left her again and she was alone. Jack had told her to push them away but that hadn’t helped, pretending hadn’t helped either and nothing made it better. It just hurt, hurt all over until she could barely breathe or think about anything else but leaving it all behind.

Delirium had found the bottle sometime in the night and she had drunk it all. It had made her feel better for a while, it had made her forget but in the morning she remembered it all. She remembered his soft hands on her face, the way he kissed her and held her. The way that he had loved her. She felt sick.

Delirium ran into the bathroom, retching into the sink, tears streaming down her face. The shock of her pale face in the mirror startled her and she stared, stared past the mirror at her sister. Her sisters. Desire wasn't happy just playing with Dream's life she had to interfere in hers. She could almost hear them- their cruel laughter. "I hate you, I hate you!" Delirium said throwing the bottle at the mirror, smashing the bottle into pieces.

Delirium stared at the broken shards of the bottle and laughed hysterically. Each edge broken and jagged; left empty and alone with no purpose. Just like her. Delirium picked up a large piece of the glass, ignoring it biting into her fingertips causing red trickles to run down her hands. Blood red, like her hair. Delirium stared at it unknowingly, blinking back tears as they ran down her face.

Delirium placed the shard into the sink and drew an unsteady swirl onto the mirror in her blood. Delirium heard Barnabas's barks and picked up the shard, rushing to the door and pushing her weight against it. "It's okay Barnabas, I'm going home. I'm ready now," Delirium said, her breath coming in short breaths as she leaned against the door. Barnabas threw his weight against the door, howling at her.

Sobbing Delirium took the shard of glass and ran it down her wrists, watching the blood rush to the surface. She attempted to try the other one but found herself unable; Delirium lay down in front of the door beginning to feel tired. Delirium felt her weight shift as the door pushed open and someone began to try to help her. Delirium closed her eyes and smiled at the sound of wings.

"Hello sister," Delirium whispered happily.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Like Bert, I like him he's squishy and he doesn't try to eat your face." Delirium said, feeling a little more relaxed at the hand in her hair. It was like Death was there, stroking her hair again and telling her it would be alright. She remembered that, from before and how they had told her it would be better soon and that the change would stop hurting. They'd lied to her. It never stopped.

"But I'm all fixed now, all better see and- stop it! Stop STARING AT ME!" Delirium said, yelling at her sister standing beyond their gazes.

"Right, like Bert. I'll get Bert for you a little later," she agreed soothingly, trying to find a good time to shift without Delirium really noticing why or how. The yelling about someone not staring at her was a really good excuse.

"Here, why don't I sit over here, and that way you won't see the staring?" she suggested, glancing at Dr. Chase so he'd know what she was doing. "Dr. Chase will have to move if I sit over there, though."

Chase sighed as he shifted and knew he had to start going faster because he really wanted to get that transfusion going. "There we go, all switched," he narrated while doing the same with her other arm, searching for the bags of blood. "Okay, Delirium, I need you to do me a big favour, okay? I've got this blood and I need you to hold it while it goes into you. Okay?"

Delirium glared at her sister. One of her pet rats was caught and its head bitten off as she kept staring at her sister. She was alone and none of them- not her family or her friends would help her forget. She just wanted to forget him.

"I feel dizzy," Delirium whispered quietly, staring past Abby. Delirium held out her hand, trembling and pale. "okiEs."

"You'll feel better soon," Abby assured Del, shifting to block the view of whatever Delirium and no one else was seeing. But then, that was one of those characteristics of delirium...you tended to see things that weren't physically there.

"We're almost done making sure your stuffing stays in and that you have plenty of it." Stuffing being defined as blood at the moment, of course, which brought a whole new facet to the idea of taxidermy.

"Almost almost done," Chase agreed as he hurried and set the blood by her, but just out of her reach, in case she decided to rip it open. He finished up the last of the stitches and began to wrap the gauze around her. "Delirium, talk to me, okay?" he encouraged. "Tell me something about Abby."

Delirium stared at Abby, the vision of her sister gone. She could still feel her cold iron hook in her heart though, crushing her.

"I don't tell secrets about mine, they're not mine to tell. But she lets me call her Abigail, just me and Ducky. And she won't have sex with me but that's okay because I love her anyway." Delirium said, touching the bag of blood and petting it like she would a cat.

"That's right," Abby agreed comfortably, staring right back at Del but keeping an eye on the bag of blood too. "Just you and Ducky. Everyone else gets glared at, and no one wants that, do they?"

It didn't bother her that Delirium mentioned the sex thing. It was sort of a fact of the island by now. Palm trees, crazy weekends, and Del periodically making passes.

Chase finished up the last of the bandages and let out a quiet sigh of relief, smiling at the both of them. "Okay, Delirium, time for a visit to the Clinic. I've got some lollipops there and you can just lie down while I search for them, okay?"

"sweetiES," Delirium said dreamily, though she didn't mean sweets but no one realised that. A lot of the time they didn't realise half the things she was saying but that was okay. She knew even if no one else did. "Just for a little while, just until he comes back."

Delirium tried to stand up and sat back down when the room whirled and she could hear roaring in her ears.

"Hey, careful," she cautioned Delirium when she tried to stand up by herself, catching her arm to steady her. "Don't try to stand up too fast. Remember, you've been on the floor for a little while and you don't want a head rush or anything. That's no fun."

"Let's try that again with some help," she suggested, carefully helping Delirium start to stand and supporting at least half her weight.

"I got the other side," Chase promised, collecting both the blood bag and the IV of vitamins he'd hung, helping her with the weight. "See, light as a feather now, you just needed a bit of help," Chase promised, voice soft.

"i Like hEAD ruSHes, Like bRAin fREEZE and i cAN Eat mY Way to thE Bottom of a tuB AND SCream bECAUSE it huRTS and i Like that, it's NEAT." Delirium said, leaning on her friend. Letting them take her away from her sister's cold stare and her own blood on the tiles. "bLood Everywhere bUT not iN me. i wANt to sLEep."

"You can sleep in just little while. We'll go to the clinic to get your lollipop and then you'll sleep for a bit," she soothed Delirium, supporting her easily. When had she gotten so light?

Someone was gonna have to come clean up this blood and she had a feeling it was her. Oh, well, she'd done it before and she knew exactly where Ruth had left the cleaning supplies.

"Lots of sleep, promise," Chase said heavily, knowing that a healthy regimen of sleep and food and care was in order. "Abby, you okay there?"

"aBBy's pEachy," Delirium said, staring at the Clinic. She really didn't want to go in. There were two arms holding her though. "It's not home, it'll do...can I sleep now? i'll be good and then you can bring me Bob."

"Abby is peachy," she replied comfortably, smiling slightly at Dr. Chase over Delirium's head so he'd know she meant it. "And yes, you can sleep now, Delirium. See? There's an open bed with nice clean sheets right there."

She helped guide Del to the bed and didn't mention Bob. Bob wasn't coming but she didn't like lies, so she just wouldn't mention him.

Chase helped her get onto the bed, grasping all the equipment he needed to hang up both the blood and the banana bag. "Thank you, both," he clarified, "for your incredible help. I won't forget it."

"Forget now Del, forget it all." Delirium murmured tiredly, lying down in the bed. Her eyes shutting of their own accord. "So tired, so sLeePY."

"Then you should definitely sleep now," Abby encouraged her, pulling the sheets up over her and being careful to leave the arm with the IV out so Dr. Chase could finish setting everything up.

"You just rest for awhile."

"Rest, exactly," Chase soothingly spoke in a hushed whisper of a tone while he fixed up the rest of the IV and the lines, getting out the chart to start writing the history of what had happened.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Let It Go

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject