endlessdel: (Del-dreadlocks)
Delirium ([personal profile] endlessdel) wrote2010-10-22 12:33 am

(no subject)

Songvidfic: Poe's Haunted
Come here
Pretty please

"tAbuLa rAsa, bLanK sLate? I- wHy iS my haIR red?" She looked back and forth repeatedly between the sign and herself, the sand was warm between her fingers; she could always play on the beach. "fUN fuN. No nEed to unDersTand, I do nOt coMprehend.”
She kicked out and scrambled towards the sign, she did not like it here, she wanted to go home. She wanted her brother, she wanted her sister, she wanted her dOgGie.

"mY namE is dElirIum- I- wHy aM I- I aM nOt a sHip iN a bOTTLe, I aM no
GoOd hEre." Delirium shrieked, throwing somewhat of a tantrum. She looked at the sky above her the clouds were fluffy and shaped like puppies bleeding over childrens corpses but even that could not cheer her up.

"I cAnNot cHange agAin, I do nOT wANt to. I waNT my SISTER!" She said shivering as she pulled the large t-shirt down around her knees and leant against the signpost. How could she feel despair if her sisters were not around, she did not understand. "mY nAmE iS dEliRium, My naMe Is DeL."

Can you tell me where I am

"We are here! We're here everytime you fall asleep, everytime you're sad, everytime something dies. We're always here," The voice told her pressing imaginary lips against her youngest sister's cheek.

You won't you say something

She stood infront of them, the mourners and revellers, and twisted her hands into the pink skirt. She turned her back to them and looked at her family, waiting and expectant and turned to look at Barnabas. "Go on then, we haven't got all day." Barnabas said, nudging her with her nose.

I need to get my bearings

Delirium had found the bottle sometime in the night and she had drunk it all. It had made her feel better for a while, it had made her forget but in the morning she remembered it all. She remembered his soft hands on her face, the way he kissed her and held her. The way that he had loved her. She felt sick.

I'm lost

They will forget who we are, who we were but we will never forget it and that is the only thing that matters.

And the shadows keep on changing

Stroking Jack's hair softly, Delirium tried to imagine herself crawling inside his skin. The voice, that voice slowly driving him insane.

And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated

"a gaME? mY gamES ARe fuN, WHen yOUr skin itChes frOM the bugS and thE monstERS No OnE CAN See oR whEn yOu'rE TRAPPed inSidE YOur owN MiND SCREAMing. tHE rEvERSE bEAR Traps, IrON MaidEns- tHEY arE FUn gamES."

I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head

"And you don't have to hide who you were. I think he'd figure it out anyway, and he knows who I was too. And you can't get mad about someone for who they were."

"hE's a spECIAL bOy thEN a cLeVER bOy anD a UndERStandiNG bOy. i LiKE hiM aLReady," Delirium said and smiled at Samara happily.

Don't cry,
There's always a way

That’s the joy of the Harlequinade. We change our costumes and so we change our roles. I was Delight, when the universe needed it and people, people would travel across Galaxies to see me.

Here in November in this house of leaves

“Ever had that one where you think you are awake but you're not and then you wake into another dream and then you wake again and again. I think there's a name for that I can't remember”

We'll pray

"Oh, nO. Not a messEnger. i mEAN, i dOn't get to LeavE THe pARTY uNTiL My hanD is taKEn and i hEAR THe sounD of wiNGS. anD thAT Hasn'T HappENed yet."

Boyd's eyes flutter closed as a sharp pain lances through his head. He's surprised that God has not seen it fit to heal him, but perhaps he is not yet at the Gate. "I don't...are you an angel? Is there another test because I will do whatever is asked of me. I am God's most dutiful servant if He will just tell me what is asked of me."

Please, I know it's hard to believe
To see a perfect forest
Through so many splintered trees

"i doN't uNDERStand big BROther, i dOn't... tELL mE WHAT TO do." Delirium said reaching out to touch him. He looked at her unseeing and touched her cheek, the only kind gesture that he had ever given to her- to any of their siblings. He stroked the cheek before continuing to walk, leaving the book with her. The chain broken in his hand. The statue crumbling. "i Don'T undERStanD. PLeASE doN'T LeaVE me, DoN'T LeaVE me!"

You and me

There was a man with a book walking in a garden. He is chained to the book. Inside the book is the universe. The man is blind. He is her oldest brother.

And these shadows keep on changing

"is ThaT mE?" Another Delirium asked, looking at the pretty girl caught mid smile. Delirium watched herself, watching herself. She was caught in one of the memories being replayed on the path that she had took with Dream so long ago. It hurt to watch. It hurt to look. Delirium looked at her brother, reaching for him.

And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated

“It's Yours...diD yOU GO SwimMing and GET Water in YOUR Ear? bECAUse i knOW YOU'Re nOT STupid," Delirium said, twisting the sleeves into knots just like how her insides felt. "i'm pREGnanT, as in whaT HappENS whEN A maN Puts his pEnis insidE A womAN ANd thEY WrithE ABout and THen he rELeasES his sEMen insiDE Her. nOt as iN WHen pEOPLE go sunBATHing and doN'T Wear SuncrEAM. They EXPLainED THat VERY CLearLy to me; thAT's caNCER, this is prEGNancy."

Oh Christ on a crutch. What the fuck? Asher was tempted to stick his fingers in his ears and shut his eyes and hope to wake up in his bed with a giant dog smothering him, compromising the flow of oxygen to his brain. "No, Del. I know... how it works." And how it didn't work sometimes, how it ended badly for everyone involved.

"iT's ALso thE WHy, yoU ASKed WHy i'M PRegnanT anD thAT WOuLD be becaUSE you PUT YOUr pEnis insidE me," Delirium explained simply, He wasn't being nice to her and that just made her feel weird and upset.

I'm haunted
By the promises I've made
And others I have broken

Delirium smiled at Stephen looking up at him wickedly. "i pEED On YOUR SHoes stEpHEN."

I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head

She was so tired. Her whole body hurt and ached in places that she had never thought existed. The pain had stretched and hurt her, changed her inside and out but this time she wasn't broken inside, this time she was happy. Delighted even. This time at the end of it all she had two beautiful little fairhaired children crying angrily at her or sleeping peacefully. They were just so beautiful that she thought her heart would break each and everytime she looked at them.

I'll always love you

Delirium put her hand on his and stood on her tiptoes, she brushed her lips against his ear. "i love none better than you," Delirium whispered in his ear. Delirium brought his hand close to her chest as she kissed his ear lightly. "I want to be your poem."

I'll always need you

“woULD yOU LiKE TO go TO BED with ME nOW, Bob?"

I'll always want you

“I'm with you in Rockland, Chris. Night Tabula Rasa."

Delirium turned off the microphone and sat quietly for a moment in the chair where he had lived.

And I will always miss you

Delirium closed her eyes and smiled at the sound of wings.

"Hello sister," Delirium whispered happily.

Come here
No I won't say please

"It wasn't!" Delirium shouted suddenly, the anger hurt more than the pain or the depression. Delirium pushed, violently, away from the desk and moving to the corner of the room. Away from the sharp objects, away from where she could do more harm. "i SHoULd have BEen theRE, i couLD've stopPED h-"

Delirium shrieked in frustration, punching the wall hard. She should've kept looking for Ragetti, she shouldn't have listened to Sandor and found him, then he wouldn't be dead and it wouldn't be her fault. "iF tHE Law won'T fiX it, i'LL Fix it mYSELf." Delirium mumbled to herself, touching the wall shaking her head. "nO, they'RE his ANd yoU CAN't takE ANythinG MOre oF his frOM ME."

One more look at the ghost
Before I'm gonna make it leave

He wasn't coming back. He'd been given his chance, a new lifetime but then it had been cruely taken away. She had been so angry not just at her sister but everyone. The Island had taken him away from her, snatched him, killed him and there had been no justice, no rememberance. It was as if people had forgotten him but she hadn't. She remembered. She remembered too much.
Ragetti was gone.

Come here
I've got the pieces here

She wasn't weak anymore but she wasn't sure what she was anymore. What she was defined her. She was literally Delirium, insanity, madness but now she was just a girl with a strange name and stranger memories.

Time to gather up the splinters
Build a casket for my tears

“I'm just a fragment of what I once was. I let myself change. I think we should go down now, away from this place.”

I'm haunted (By the lives that I have loved)
I'm haunted (By the promises I've made)

"I'm here, I'm here." Delirium said as Jack continued to try to shut the machine off. "Can't you see me? Mummy please."

Look at me, see me, don't ignore me.

I'm haunted
By the hallways in this tiny room
The echos there of me and you

"iS that Me?" Delirium asked, looking at the lost girl. She was skinny, so skinny with wild irratic hair. She didn't look happy. He didn't answer her but continued to read. She couldn't understand him.

The voices that are carrying this tune

She didn't know who she was anymore.

What is it Annie?You think I'll cry? I won't cry!
My heart will break before I cry!

You're leaving me aren't you?" Delirium asked, the words echoed in her abandoned realm. "It's not fair."

"No, it's not. Life isn't," Dream said simply and bent down to touch her cheek fondly. Something she could never remember him doing. Ever. "Sister, your eyes... they're matching."

"I can do that, sometimes." Delirium said and stared at him. He reached out to touch her again and she moved out of his reach. "No. You're leaving me. You know what's happening to me and you're leaving me."

"Your madness... your madness is making you sane." Dream said and reached for her sister. "Sister-"

"I never liked you-" Delirium said, interrupting him. He was leaving her, he was leaving her.


I will go mad.