endlessdel: (Delirium-wibble)
Delirium ([personal profile] endlessdel) wrote2008-04-27 11:14 am
Entry tags:

Let It Go

Delirium had almost believed them when they told her it would get better, when they told her that it was just part of being human- but everyday it got worse, everyday she forgot a little bit more. When she looked at her doggies she struggled to remember their names or where she was until she remembered and when she remembered it felt worse, like she had been hurt all over again.

She felt too tired to get up. She didn’t want to eat or drink and when they saw her they made her eat or drink and then they left her again and she was alone. Jack had told her to push them away but that hadn’t helped, pretending hadn’t helped either and nothing made it better. It just hurt, hurt all over until she could barely breathe or think about anything else but leaving it all behind.

Delirium had found the bottle sometime in the night and she had drunk it all. It had made her feel better for a while, it had made her forget but in the morning she remembered it all. She remembered his soft hands on her face, the way he kissed her and held her. The way that he had loved her. She felt sick.

Delirium ran into the bathroom, retching into the sink, tears streaming down her face. The shock of her pale face in the mirror startled her and she stared, stared past the mirror at her sister. Her sisters. Desire wasn't happy just playing with Dream's life she had to interfere in hers. She could almost hear them- their cruel laughter. "I hate you, I hate you!" Delirium said throwing the bottle at the mirror, smashing the bottle into pieces.

Delirium stared at the broken shards of the bottle and laughed hysterically. Each edge broken and jagged; left empty and alone with no purpose. Just like her. Delirium picked up a large piece of the glass, ignoring it biting into her fingertips causing red trickles to run down her hands. Blood red, like her hair. Delirium stared at it unknowingly, blinking back tears as they ran down her face.

Delirium placed the shard into the sink and drew an unsteady swirl onto the mirror in her blood. Delirium heard Barnabas's barks and picked up the shard, rushing to the door and pushing her weight against it. "It's okay Barnabas, I'm going home. I'm ready now," Delirium said, her breath coming in short breaths as she leaned against the door. Barnabas threw his weight against the door, howling at her.

Sobbing Delirium took the shard of glass and ran it down her wrists, watching the blood rush to the surface. She attempted to try the other one but found herself unable; Delirium lay down in front of the door beginning to feel tired. Delirium felt her weight shift as the door pushed open and someone began to try to help her. Delirium closed her eyes and smiled at the sound of wings.

"Hello sister," Delirium whispered happily.

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